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MayMay 21 Thursday 09

PSA: The word "emergency" cannot be applied to the hypothetical situation of "someone trying to steal your lunch money" when you're 28.

updated May 21, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 20 Wednesday 09

Reminder: Events that happen in your dreams did not actually happen in real life. Also, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

updated May 20, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 19 Tuesday 09

Super Awesome, Super Overpriced: http://bit.ly/lg1Uk

updated May 19, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 18 Monday 09

Kidnappers: Times up! Way to fail.

updated May 18, 2009 via Twitter

http://twitpic.com/5gwu3 - Dear would be kidnappers: I'm at the bus stop across the street from this coffee been in santa monica. You ha ...

updated May 18, 2009 via Twitter

You should all be aware that this exists: http://bit.ly/9QxkW /&cpg=cj

updated May 18, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 17 Sunday 09

Cable down + Internet down = nap time

updated May 17, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 16 Saturday 09

Fun fact: girlfriends get upset at you when they find your ex's bras in your apartment.

updated May 16, 2009 via Twitter

Wolframalpha is epic stupid.

updated May 16, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 15 Friday 09

I heart cupcake.

updated May 15, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 14 Thursday 09

My 5' 1", 100lbs mother recently informed us that if she played a sport, it would be basketball. Her justifcation? She can jump well.

updated May 14, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 13 Wednesday 09

http://twitpic.com/54u6g - @prettyfacekilla this is a cupcake test

updated May 13, 2009 via Twitter

Sick of waiting for T-Mobile and/or Google to get their shit together. Rooting and upgrading my G1 myself. #android #cupcake #ihatewaiting

updated May 13, 2009 via Twitter

Fans: In case you missed it, the follow up to "Dick in a Box" http://bit.ly/dGHZe

updated May 13, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 12 Tuesday 09

Sleeping on the couch.

updated May 12, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 11 Monday 09

At the bus stop today, the kid sitting next to me asked to borrow my cell. He then coughed all over it and offered me weed. How are you?

updated May 11, 2009 via Twitter

My name is @maritzacollazo and I ended every tweet I write with #mavs

updated May 11, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 10 Sunday 09

Happy Mother's Day to all you ladies.

updated May 10, 2009 via Twitter

MayMay 9 Saturday 09

A sentence I never thought I would say: Star Trek was kick ass.

updated May 9, 2009 via Twitter

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